Hello to all of our readers and followers, apologies for no recent blogs over the last few weeks. Life has been very hectic! I have been busy celebrating personally and also for my second Daughters graduation from university, a politics and philosophy degree from York University. I am a very proud mum indeed!! Two daughters have now graduated from university, my eldest graduated from Exeter University with a psychology degree.
It still only feels like yesterday that we were packing for Uni life for both of my daughters with help from the Ikea university checklist of items. Our car was brimmed full of loaded boxes and the long drive into the unknown. A sense of excitement and nerves but also the intrepidation for the journey ahead with our teenage daughters fleeing the nest.
During this stage of your menopause, have you noticed that it has coincided during the busiest time of your life? Had you once thought much like myself that at this time of our lives, life would be much more simpler and easier? No one mentions how busy life becomes with teenagers, exams, university, empty nest, work life, ageing parents life seems to be whizzing along very quickly all of a sudden.
Day to day life has somehow become busier, hectic, full on and at times all encompassing?
Is this hormones and mother nature playing havoc here? Certainly does not help at times, whether it is exhaustion, fatigue, a sleepless night or brain fog it can be very frustrating and debilitating.
If you have found yourself suddenly in the midst of perimenopause or menopause and you are having empty nest feelings, it can be a very emotional time for you. At a time when you are not feeling your best and not quite yourself, it can be very tough. You will be incredibly sensitive and emotional with your hormones at this stage and it may well feel amplified when your child goes to University. It is a huge milestone and achievement for your teenager and yourself. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself and try to enjoy the process.
Just remember to be kind to yourself as this is a big change for you personally, physically and mentally within your body and it is also a change within the dynamics of your family, when your teenager leaves for university, change is happening.
I found it was important to keep my sense of identity, independence and to try and be strong as I could during these times.
There will be days when it can be tough, with your hormones and feelings, not every day will be great. Just remember to take each day as it comes and then you slowly get used to the change. Rely on your support network of friends, family, partner and colleagues. Make this the time that it is important for you and what is going to make you happy and keep you engaged and active.
Some ideas possibly:
- Keep yourself active
- See a show
- Meet a friend for lunch or dinner
- A spa day or retreat
- Evening class
- Enrol onto a learning course University, College, Adult Education centre or Open University.
- Set yourself a challenge!
- New Career or start a business
- Holiday with your partner or a solo holiday
- Meet ups – maybe start your own one, for mums of empty nests!
- Forums – For parents of teenagers at university
- A weekly park run or a charity race
- Plan weekends to visit your teenager, don’t cramp their style though and don’t be too disheartened if they are busy, a quick coffee or lunch and a hug is enough. You could also plan a trip/event for when your teenager comes home.
It is important to look after your wellbeing and to keep yourself mentally and emotionally fulfilled. This will help yourself and your Uni teenager to show that you’re coping ok for they will soon be arriving home with the washing! you will then have lots to discuss and catching up will be good fun.
As much as teenagers like to think they are ever so grown up and that they know everything! They do worry and care about you still, they just don’t like to admit it!
On top of all the celebrations, it was also my birthday recently. My Husband and myself share birthdays, we’re just one day apart! My birthday felt like it had arrived far too sudden this year and it flew by as quickly as it came.
Have you noticed that now in menopause you feel slightly differently about birthdays each year? Do you find yourself counting down the years to the next milestone birthday with excitement or dread? Do you find it yet another reminder on top of menopause that you are ageing and becoming older?
Birthdays are now slightly odd events as you reach a certain age in midlife, have you also noticed that you don’t really like a big fuss on your birthday? Just an easy stress free day is enough to suffice or do you like to embrace your birthday and have lots of celebrations?
In particular milestone birthdays, when you were younger you would of wanted to celebrate with all your friends and share your day with everyone. As you age, you simply just want your nearest and dearest with you on your day, easy and simple with no fuss.
Is this mother nature reminding us that we are in fact getting older and as much as we would love to be dancing in Ibiza drinking cocktails into the early hours of the morning! We no longer have the capacity or neither the energy at our age now to be able to maintain such antics.
Change, you either love it or loathe it. Personally, I feel change is good !!!
Change happens all throughout life, it is inevitable. It is best not to fight it, you just have to go with the flow. It is hard at first but once you accept that your body and age is changing you will suddenly realise that you can look forward and still have fun!!! Don’t let menopause run your life, be positive and turn this stage of your life into the best times and don’t look back!
A big, big thank you to Rebecca Weef-Smith at Goldie magazine and to all the team for their splendid magazine this month.
Issue no 5 – Life’s a beach.
PeriMenoPost is featured in this months Goldie Magazine, life’s a beach issue no 5.
It was a fantastic opportunity to share my story of early menopause, retraining with Digital Mums and how PeriMenoPost was born out of personal experience.
Grab your copy today online from Goldie magazine directly or check website (link below) of where to purchase a copy locally to yourself.
Goldie is a great read, it is fashionably bright, colourful, fun and young minded, covering style, fashion, culture, life and love. Perfect for a nice sunny day in the garden or the beach with maybe a cool drink or a cheeky cocktail or two!
We love Goldie magazine!! Enjoy reading and have a great week Menos. Let’s hope the sunshine returns this week!